


hazel

by sciencebluefeelings



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Established Relationship, Glasses, M/M, Shore Leave
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:23:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22880143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sciencebluefeelings/pseuds/sciencebluefeelings
Summary: Jim's eyes weren't always bright blue.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock Prime
Comments: 10
Kudos: 51





	hazel

It starts as a numbing, unusual tingle in the middle of his skull, near the back of his eyes. Jim frowns and stops in the middle of the motion of brushing his teeth. Spock immediately calls from the bedroom, "Jim? Is everything alright?" He must sense Jim's unease through their bond.  
  
Then it feels like something is searing into Jim's irises. "Fuck!" Jim drops his toothbrush and stumbles backwards, hands over his eyes. He feels something press against his bare back, and then Spock's soothing low voice is in his ear.  
  
"Let me see," the old Vulcan murmurs, tugging at Jim's hands. Jim blinks rapidly, unable to keep his eyes open. They continue to smart and burn, bringing tears down his face.  
  
Spock presses a worn hand over Jim's eyes, and the pain decreases marginally. "Is it the light?"  
  
"I - I don't think so. It was just fine a minute ago." The pain throbs and eases. Spock removes his hand, and Jim blinks through tears at the mirror, startled. Hints of specked brown are beginning to muddle the bright blue irises, turning their color a strange greyish hue. Jim sees Spock pressed right behind him through the mirror. He looks even more surprised than Jim.  
  
Then a strange mask falls over his features, schooling them back to a careful neutral state. "We shall go see a healer immediately. Get dressed."  
  


  
  
It's not exactly the way he expected to spend shore leave on New Vulcan with his bondmate, sitting in an eye doctor's office and blinking at a chart on a screen. The healer examines Jim's eyes carefully as Spock looks on, visibly anxious.  
  
The healer turns off her penlight and checks Jim's records. She replicates eye drops and instructs Jim to put two drops in each eye before she examines him again. She says in Vulcan, " _Captain Kirk, you should be fine in under a week. The discomfort is due to your Retinax prescription reacting to the deteriorating cosmetic eye surgery that you have undergone seventeen years ago. This is completely natural, the cosmetic surgery is almost always only demi-permanent and eventually wears off._ "  
  
Spock is very still where he sits next to Jim. The healer instructs Jim to temporarily stop using Retinax as his irises readjust to their natural state. If he wishes to undergo the surgery again, he should wait at least two months first. " _Do you have any glasses?_ " she asks.  
  
" _No, I've never had a pair._ "  
  
The healer leads Jim to select a pair of frames and they have the glasses completed and in Jim's possession promptly. " _Feel free to contact us again if you have any further concerns._ "  
  
Spock is quiet during the drive back to his house. Jim sits in the passenger seat with his new glasses on, and he watches Spock's hands on the steering wheel. "Something on your mind?"  
  
"I was unaware that you have had cosmetic eye surgery."  
  
"Yeah, unfortunately my second most attractive asset is all one big lie," Jim laughs. He sobers up when Spock doesn't respond how he expects. "Spock?"  
  
Spock flinches, as if coming back to awareness. He keeps his eyes on the road. "I apologize, Jim." He pauses and places a hand over Jim's. "Your concerns are unfounded, _ashaya_. Your appearance does not affect my perception of who you are to me."  
  
Jim rubs a thumb over Spock's lovely fingers. "Maybe not, but you don't like something about it."  
  
"That is not true." Spock doesn't move from Jim's touch, but he doesn't elaborate, either.  
  


  
  
Jim's eyesight worsens as the day goes on and the Retinax wears off. Jim forgets that glasses are affected by steam and takes a long water shower. He puts on the fogged up glasses as he attempts to maneuver through the space of the foggy bathroom, locating a towel and his clothing to sleep in. He attempts to keep wiping the lenses before finally giving up and putting on his underwear through a haze of white.  
  
Thankfully the pain is almost completely gone except for the occasional twinge through the middle of his skull. Jim puts in the medicated eye drops before exiting to the bedroom. He is startled to see his reflection in the non-fogged bedroom mirror. The original brown color of his irises is already becoming intensely vivid.  
  
Jim had gotten the underage illegal cosmetic surgery purely as an act of rebellion against his mother's boyfriend. Frank had beaten Jim, like he had after Jim has sent Frank's vintage car hurtling over the side of a canyon cliff, but Jim hadn't regretted the act one bit.  
  
Jim curls under the covers, resting again the headboard. Spock's more heavily blanketed side of the bed is still empty. Jim can hear him moving around in the kitchen. The healer recommended a particular type of Vulcan tea to help Jim fall asleep easier with the irritated eyes, and Jim is pretty sure Spock is brewing some right now.  
  
Jim is only partially paying attention to the PADD in his hands, where he is playing virtual chess, when he sees movement in the corner of his eye. Jim smiles up at Spock, who sets the tray of mugs on the bedside table before sitting next to Jim and offering one. "I added sugar."  
  
"Thanks, love." Jim takes a sip of the mild, barely sweetened liquid. Spock smooths a hand through Jim's barely damp hair and suppresses a sigh. Jim puts the mug down on his bedside table and rubs his partner's back. "You've been in your own head all day, Spock. What's going on in that pretty mind of yours?"  
  
Spock raises an eyebrow at Jim, who laughs. Spock's faint smile spreads across his lips. He raises his worn hands to Jim's face, tracing the edges of his mouth, his eyebrows. They rest on the sides of his face, framing Jim's reverting eyes.  
  
" _He_ had brown eyes as well. I had thought the feature could serve to distinguish you two apart from each other, but the older you get, the more - the more you resemble him visually."  
  
"Oh." Jim deflates. Of course, no matter how hard they both try to move on, the ghosts of the past always seem to weigh them back down.  
  
Spock shakes his head. "You are mine, Jim, not your counterpart. I had thought - I had accepted and embraced this by now. I am ashamed of my inability to-" Spock stops mid-sentence and sighs. "My own shortcomings are frustrating. You do not deserve to be compared to anyone, especially to your late counterpart."  
  
Jim presses a kiss to Spock's temple. They finish their tea in silence before placing the mugs in the bedroom's cycler and turning off the lights.  
  
Jim sets aside his glasses and rests his head on Spock's pillow, nuzzling into the side of his neck. "I know we're not doing the comparison thing anymore, but I think I'm the luckier one between me and my counterpart."  
  
Spock hums questioningly. Jim wraps his arms around the slight frame. "That old man was too busy taking things for granted to realize how perfect it is to be yours."  
  
Jim feels Spock reaching under the collar of Jim's shirt, rubbing his collarbone. "You cannot even feel your side of our bond, and the comfort and security it brings."  
  
"S'not just the bond." Jim presses a hand over Spock's side and feels a shiver of delight at the reciprocating purr in his ear. The Vulcan's rapid heartbeat is slowly dropping as Spock gets drowsier. Jim huffs. "God. You and your culture's obsession over bonds. I've been living by myself in my lonely little head my entire life, and it's fine it'll stay that way. You're right here in front of me right now, aren't you?"  
  
Spock sinks further into Jim. "It amazes me every day."  
  
Jim is silent for a long time.

"Spock? Are you asleep?"  
  
Spock kisses the side of Jim's head in response.  
  
"Spock - do you want me to change my eye color again? Once the irises have stabilized."  
  
Spock goes tense under Jim's touch. Jim can almost sense the internal conflict radiating from his skin. Spock finally exhales. "I do not wish to influence you one way or another. It would be most favorable for you to make the choice based on your own preferences."  
  
"Hmm." Jim touches his lips to Spock's. "I'll think more about it later, then. Good night, love."  
  
"Goodnight, _ashal-veh. Let's meet in our dreams._ "  
  
Jim is silent for about ten seconds. 

"Spock? What do you think of purple eyes?"  
  
Spock laughs. "Not purple. If it is what you truly desire, I will buy you colored contacts tomorrow. Go to sleep, Jim."  
  
"Yes, dear."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! (or reaching the bottom of the page ^^) I appreciate all kudos and any form of comments! especially the ones w emoji spam 💖💖✨✨
> 
> If you liked the hurt/comfort aspect of this story, [you might like this hurt/comfort fic involving Ambassador Spock and the _Enterprise_ crew family (rating is teen)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22296376)


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